Samhain Season
Attempting to get cozy in the shadows
Samhain Season, Hibernation Season, Cozy Season… no matter what you call it, my favorite time of year has arrived. I can hear the ancient call to nestle into the darkness, cozy up next to a fire, and honor my ancestors. My wish of finding a pumpkin spice latte in a land of loyal tea drinkers was fulfilled, as well as trampling through a local farm to find our perfect pumpkins, and carving them as a family. I’ve made apple crisps, cookies, and many potatoes. Soup is next. I’m doing the seasonal things I love, but honestly, I’m struggling this year.
After some contemplation, I’ve come to realize I’m in a “Fourth Trimester” of sorts after birthing a new life here in Ireland. My body and spirit are sore from the “birthing process” and there’s lots of healing taking place.
My days have been filled with trying to integrate into a foreign land, learning the local ways, and deciphering between my romanticized vision of life here and integrating the reality of what it is actually like living here. My nights have been restless with lack of sleep and weird, scary dreams that mostly revolve around transition and new beginnings.
I’m grateful that I’m able to find joy and beauty each day, but I thought that landing would be easier.
I tried to not have many expectations in order to be as open to this experience as possible but I didn’t anticipate feeling this much discomfort. My mind knows I’m recovering from a huge life change and experiencing culture shock, but my body is still unsettled.
I’m mourning the love and care from my mom and grandmother who have passed, missing the connections with the loved ones I left behind, and craving the warmth and safety of my own sacred space.
I’m exhausted all the time. I’m trying to give myself the gentleness and nurturing I know I need right now, while also actively participating in creating the life I want to have here. Functioning in this floaty, liminal space is hard– my sense of time and space is blurry, my brain is fuzzy, confusion is frequent, loneliness comes and goes, and restful sleep is tricky. I don’t have my bearings yet, I’m navigating situations that require a lot more of me than I’m able to give, and the responsibilities of adulting are almost painful. All I want to do is curl up in someone’s arms and be taken care of, like when I was a child.
I have faith that things will continue to get better with each passing day. In the meantime, I’ll take this opportunity to turn to some experts for guidance:
Sleep whenever possible– “Sleep helps with recovery by reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol breaks down tissues in the body for energy, which is the opposite of what growth hormones do. So, by lowering cortisol levels, sleep allows growth hormones to more effectively rebuild injured tissues.”
Sway and rock the body– “The movement stimulates the vestibular system, responsible for our sense of balance and spatial orientation. As a result, rocking can produce a calming effect by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts stress and anxiety by promoting relaxation.”
Warm baths– “Taking warm baths can help improve feelings of stress and reduce fatigue and pain,” says Gladd. People have been taking baths for thousands of years simply because it feels good on the body, but it also soothes the mind. Warm baths create a physically tranquil environment that translates to mental calmness.”
20 second hugs– “A 20-second hug reduces the harmful effects of stress, relieves blood pressure, and ensures a healthy heart. Increasing the hug ratio results in reduced blood pressure, decreased cortisol, improved healing, reduced cravings, and better immunity.”
Eat nutritious foods– “You will need lots of energy in the fourth trimester, so choosing healthy foods and snacks will help give you the boost you need.”
Light exercise– “Some light exercise will also help with your recovery and energy levels. Make sure to give your body time to heal and take it at your own pace.”
Outdoor walks– “Spending time in nature has been found to help with mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. For example, research into Ecotherapy (a type of formal treatment which involves doing activities outside in nature) has shown it can help with mild to moderate depression. This might be due to combining regular physical activity and social contact with being outside in nature.”
Music– This one is on repeat lately!
Resources used:
https://www.medicinenet.com/how_do_hugs_make_you_feel/article.htm
https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/what-is-the-fourth-trimester